Break Me (The Source)

I want to be shattered,
Shattered to my very core,
Burn me,
Until dust is all that remains

Take me to my source,
Where essence burns bright white,
Where darkness dare not creep

Where things are,
Simple, pure, themselves
No need to explain

Let the tower fall and break,
Brick by brick, or in one fell swoop
Let it tumble on itself

Let me look at myself,
Bare, naked, utterly vulnerable
Reflections on the pool of my being,
The source

The Young Nymphs

Light, very light
Dancing around the schoolyard,
Oozing with life and fresh-born sexuality


Their tender bodies,
Just awakening


Hormones raging,
Breasts can hardly contain their own growth


And the play has started,
Boys and girls,
In a devil's dance


Eyes meeting,
Bodies merging 


And the play has ended.

For me, the experience was alike to a visit to the forbidden garden,
Or to a candy store full of wonderful sweets of all kinds, colors and flavors where I can only look,
long for, yearn, fantasize about, but never touch, let alone have... And the yearning is oh so
strong. So strong that I stopped keeping it conscious after some time. I pushed it down so hard it
was practically gone. With it a good portion of me - my power, my energy, my sexuality was
all but gone.

Why can't I touch?
Why can't I revel in god's creation?
Am I not god's creation myself?


The longing,
Too painful to endure,
Was shut out,
Pushed away from awareness

And I am left with the shadows of a proposition,
Long ago contemplated and forgotten

And I am left with the distant echoes of a terrible pain,
Long forgotten

How can I gain clarity on this? I think that it has to do with my view of 
my body, of sexuality, of pleasure. Be curious, explore more.

Farewell

Recognition.

For a split second in eternity,
We had that

A short lived spark,
A Twinkle in the eye,

We shared a room,
Only us,
The world expelled from our awareness

A painful journey through our personalities,
Our souls momentarily danced

For a split second we were merged

Thank you

Unnamed #1

They are all around me,
Allies, friends, lovers,
Givers of the Heart

But I,
I don't let them in,
Their loving care finds a wall,
Is deflected,
Only a slight portion is allowed in

In my halls of steel and ice,
The echoes of isolation are reverberated,
Love is the essence,
The intense fire,
The elemental force,
Required to make magic real

An opening,
A new trust is needed,
In me, in them, in everything
New eyes to see the same thing

Demons

They are there,
Lurking in the shadows of my subconsciousness,
Biding their time

Free flowing thoughts is their cue,
They go in and overtake me,
And I wake to the aftermath

No sleep! high vigilance!
Never let your guard down for one second,
Lest you risk your own downfall

Why Am I Here?

I don't know. To make mistakes. To fall and burn and rise again as something else. To experience. To let go of what stops me. To rediscover. To play. To hold hands with others. To redefine boundaries. To revel in myself. To move towards truth. Towards myself. To make friends. To make a difference. To make good. To Heal. To touch. To feel. To share.

A being of a Heart and a Brain,
A creature who thinks and feels,
Capable of the Best and the Worst,
Holds Free Choice

Take small steps, and marvel in them.
Realize the game, and so enjoy yourself.
It is all for your enjoyment and playfulness

Make your pain part of you, and so gain Peace.

The Goddess from Africa

A whirlpool of pink and blood-red,
Lips pushing out with such voluptuousness,
So alive,
I can almost see them pulsating

A Lioness,
Majestically, swiftly moving in the savannah,
Her paws, her legs, her torso, her neck extending to her head,
All moving in a finely tuned succession,
Orchestrated by the hand of God

Her face,
Expecting nothing, accepting everything,

A rich terrain of calm attentiveness,

At the ready to effortlessly devour your 

soul at any moment

Her womanhood,

Such a potent femininity,

So enticing, 

Lacing every strand of muscle,

Every ligament,

Every bone in her body

I wonder if she knows this,

If she's even aware, if she realizes in feeling,
A fraction of the reality which through her manifests

I wonder if it is even possible for us

to contain the realization of our own Godliness