tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955160101862921742024-02-19T05:19:52.537+02:00The Language of my HeartThis is the space where I give my Heart and Mind creative
expression. This is a great way for me to process
stuff that happen for me in my own life, To integrate
the In with the Out.The Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-49829747036451308962011-07-01T18:51:00.000+03:002011-07-01T18:51:43.436+03:00פחד - מסוהר למדריך<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
הרבה זמן לא שיתפתי ושרירי השיתוף זקוקים לתפעול. <br />
<br />בחודשים האחרונים אני נכנס לעומקו של הפחד בחיי (גם כאב אך זה לזמן סיפור אחר...) <br />
<br />מה זה פחד? למה הוא שם? איך הוא מופיע בחיים שלי? ומה לעזאזל עושים איתו?<br />
<br />מהתובנות שאספתי והשינויים שיישמתי, קיבלתי תוצאות בחיי:<br />
<br />התעמתתי עם אחד הפחדים הגדולים שלי,פחד הבמה, ולא רק שהתעמתתי איתו, בחרתי ללכת על תפקיד הדרכתי, שכולל עמידה מול קהל בהגדרה.<br />
<br />גם בתחום הקריירה, החלטתי שאני רוצה להנהיג אנשים ותרגמתי את זה לעבודות של ניהול אנשים.<br />המון פחדים צפו בשלב הזה - ובגללם, התחלתי במציאות הפיזית מחיפוש תפקידים בשירות לקוחות בתור נציג שירות, בתקווה שאתקדם תוך שנה לתפקיד ניהולי במשכורת של 6000, לראיון שסיימתי לפני דקות מספר, לתפקיד של מנהל מחשוב ארגוני בחברת הי טק שכולל ניהול אנשים במשכורת של 20,000. ותקשיבו הפצצתי בו. אפילו אני הקשבתי לעצמי ולא הבנתי מי מדבר :)<br />
<br />יש עוד תוצאות, בתחום הזוגיות ובתחומים נוספים, אך לא אלאה אתכם בפרטים. <br />
<br />לשיפור המדהים בתוצאות בחיי, לקצב ועוצמת הצמיחה שלי, ולרמת הביטוי העצמי שלי, יש קשר משמעותי וישיר לעבודה שלי עם הפחד בחיי.<br />
<br />חחח עד כאן הpr. נעבור לתכלס.<br />
<br />ריכזתי את הלמידות שלי לתהליך עבודה לזיהוי ותפעול עצמי כשפחד מעורב (אם תשימו לב טוב טוב, תגלו שזה רוב הזמן)<br />
<br />שלב א׳ - זיהוי<br />בחיותך את חייך, זהה שעולה פחד :)<br />איך? אצלי זה מתחיל מרעיון שמלהיב אותי ואני רוצה ליישם ואז עולות מחשבות (להלן המיינד) שמטרתן לסקל את העשייה. לדוג. כשעלה אצלי הרעיון להדריך התלהבתי מאוד. הנה דרך לעשות משהו שאני אוהב, גמיש בשעות, ושישלמו לי עליו 200 שקל לשעה. יום א״כ הרעיון ״הרגיש״ לי רע. מחשבות כמו ״אני אתקע באמצע הכיתה ואז יצחקו עלי״, ״אני לא אצליח״ ועוד השתלטו לי על הספייס במוח והמוטיבציה להתקדם הייתה בתחתונים. עירנות לתהליך בתוך הראש זאת אופציה אחת לזיהוי. האופציה השנייה פשוטה הרבה יותר. כל רגש הוא תהליך גופני. עירנות לתחושות שהפחד מייצר בגוף. כשאני פוחד הפחד מופיע לי בבטן בהרגשה של כיווץ ייחודי. אצלכם זה יכול להיות שונה.<br />
<br />הערות חשובות:<br />
<br />1. המיומנות בזיהוי, כמו כל מיומנות, משתפרת עם תרגול<br />2. הצעד הראשון הוא קריטי. במידה ולא זיהיתם שעסקינן בפחד, תהיו תקועים בתירוצים, בהתנגדות לפחד, בכל דבר רק לא במה שיאפשר לכם לצאת מהלופ.<br />
<br />שלב ב׳ - תיאום ציפיות מול עצמכם<br />כשהחלטתי ללכת על עניין ההדרכה, השלב הראשון היה מבחן בד (להעביר הדרכה קצרה מול זוגות עיניים ביקורתיות ובוחנות כדי לראות אם יש לי יכולות הדרכה). ישבתי, אני ועצמי, והגדרתי מה תהיה הצלחה מבחינתי. הצלחה, כך אמרתי לי, תהיה הכניסה לדלת הכניסה, ההגעה לאתגר ומתן ה100% שלי, לא משנה מה זה יהיה. גם אם אכנס ואתקע לפני שאוציא הגה חלוש.. <br />
<br />באופן זה, שוב המיינד נותר חסר דלק ואתם ממוצבים בסט לעשייה והצלחה no matter what. ז״א בלי קשר לנסיבות.<br />עשייה, העזה = הצלחה!<br />
<br />שלב ג׳ - עשייה<br />מסביר את עצמו. קיפצו למים, והגשימו את עצמכם. מי יודע מה יהיה מחר.<br />
<br />הערה:<br />הרבה אנשים מזהים את הפחד, אך יש להם ציפייה שהם יצליחו, איכשהו, להעלים אותו ואז להרגיש ״טוב״ עם העשייה. אז הם מתחילים לעשות כל מיני דברים מצחיקים, שאפקיטיבית רק מזיזים אויר, שמנגד החיים ממשיכים וההזדמנות חולפת לה. ומה שנשאר זה כאב הפספוס והתהייה ״מה היה אם?״<br />
<br />זיהיתם פחד? קיפצו למים! מיד. דחייה משמעותה מתן דלק למיינד לסקל את המיזם, קבעון, ועוד שחיקה בבטחון העצמי.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />קצת על הרווחים שמתחילים לעבוד עם הפחד שלכם ככה,חוץ מהרווח הברור של סיכוי לקבל את החיים שאתם רוצים (תוצאות).<br />הביטוי העצמי שלכם עולה כל הזמן. הרגשת חיות מטורפת שמתחילה להשתלט על עוד ועוד תחומי חיים (מומנטום חיובי), כיף ברמה של חזרה לילדות (אני מרגיש שהזמן עובר ואני נהיה צעיר יותר ויותר, פיזית רגשית ומנטלית) והפיכת הפחד מאויב/סוהר לקרש קפיצה לצמיחה, עוצמה אישית ואהבה גדולה.<br />
<br />תהנו, באהבה גדולה,<br />אורי</div>The Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-40295090703249391372010-12-21T01:31:00.000+02:002010-12-21T01:31:46.266+02:00Friends to the JourneyI was thinking today how privileged I am to have so many excellent friends with<br />
me on this road I am in. People I can be myself with, people that support me when<br />
I need it, people that love me without me needing to do or be anything I'm not.<br />
This is dedicated to those people. I love you from my heart.<br />
<br />
They're just people,<br />
Normal people,<br />
I could have taken them off the street<br />
<br />
And yet you're not,<br />
Willing to put yourself out there,<br />
With all your vulnerabilities,<br />
<br />
All your hurt,<br />
All your bullshit<br />
<br />
Willing to share it with the world,<br />
With me,<br />
I do feel so privileged<br />
<br />
Willing to be weak,<br />
Willing to be open to hurt<br />
<br />
Willing to share a wonderfully crazy journey together,<br />
To reach where no man has reached before<br />
<br />
To your self,<br />
And back<br />
<br />
By touching me,<br />
I touch You,<br />
<br />
It's as real as it getsThe Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-54559941143882970132010-12-12T00:53:00.000+02:002010-12-12T00:53:58.671+02:00Rotten in heavenSo I need to offload some things. I don't know what but I'll start anyway.<br />
Shaked and me are not talking anymore. arjhfekjhf;kehjd'aposjfapeofkjpfdoka<br />
pofka'efokja'pefojkaefoja'floja'flj'alefkja'lefj'aef<br />
Bullshit!<br />
<br />
my stomach is hurting so bad I can hardly breath. I'm crying and I have no no no<br />
idea how to make to make this pain dissolve or atleast move somewhere.<br />
I feel so stuck. so stuck. I can't focus on anything outside of myself for too long.<br />
<br />
i keep coming back to this place inside of people not liking me and me trying to please<br />
them. I find it all around me. I saw it today in Mali, Boaz, Saar, Yaron, and numerous<br />
other people in Humanication. I don't know what to do with it. It's this huge hole<br />
trying to get filled with love, approval and attention. In the mean time it is playing<br />
havoc inside of me.The Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-43957296893725658862010-12-04T02:12:00.000+02:002010-12-04T02:12:18.793+02:00Loving myselfLoving myself,<br />
No matter what<br />
<br />
Any time,<br />
Any day<br />
<br />
Feeling down,<br />
Feeling high,<br />
Dirty, pretty<br />
Smelly or fresh<br />
<br />
Bad and good,<br />
It is all inside<br />
<br />
Flowing and changing,<br />
At any moment,<br />
A new me appears,<br />
And disappears<br />
<br />
Stuck and flowing,<br />
Judgemental and accepting,<br />
Productive or slumping<br />
<br />
Such an amazing being,<br />
So hard on myself,<br />
Such a waste of time<br />
<br />
Enjoy yourself,<br />
Drop the act,<br />
Be you<br />
That shining you,<br />
You are<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdzoIpAxYxfemBFl8RTIK0pUD1lEGuWcUx3P36GICUXeEiamd3K9Ngp9tQLkgWUzQX9Yw9DypU2_Oe0DhRhiTLcZQwNVJjif3Eb4RIbg_9OZoZ0t9v0wvZgGXy3Vv9HSASaQcQj_9OVMY2/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdzoIpAxYxfemBFl8RTIK0pUD1lEGuWcUx3P36GICUXeEiamd3K9Ngp9tQLkgWUzQX9Yw9DypU2_Oe0DhRhiTLcZQwNVJjif3Eb4RIbg_9OZoZ0t9v0wvZgGXy3Vv9HSASaQcQj_9OVMY2/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div>Love You!The Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-1295795933173321722010-11-15T00:30:00.000+02:002010-11-15T00:30:59.417+02:00Break Me (The Source)I want to be shattered,<br />
Shattered to my very core,<br />
Burn me,<br />
Until dust is all that remains<br />
<br />
Take me to my source,<br />
Where essence burns bright white,<br />
Where darkness dare not creep<br />
<br />
Where things are,<br />
Simple, pure, themselves<br />
No need to explain<br />
<br />
Let the tower fall and break,<br />
Brick by brick, or in one fell swoop<br />
Let it tumble on itself<br />
<br />
Let me look at myself,<br />
Bare, naked, utterly vulnerable<br />
Reflections on the pool of my being,<br />
The sourceThe Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-38901378656594262692010-11-10T14:23:00.000+02:002010-11-10T14:23:06.947+02:00The Young Nymphs<b>Light, very light</b><br />
<b>Dancing around the schoolyard,</b><br />
<b>Oozing with life and fresh-born sexuality</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Their tender bodies,</b><br />
<b>Just awakening</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Hormones raging,</b><br />
<b>Breasts can hardly contain their own growth</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>And the play has started,</b><br />
<b>Boys and girls,</b><br />
<b>In a devil's dance</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Eyes meeting,</b><br />
<b>Bodies merging </b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>And the play has ended.</b><br />
<br />
For me, the experience was alike to a visit to the forbidden garden,<br />
Or to a candy store full of wonderful sweets of all kinds, colors and flavors where I can only look,<br />
long for, yearn, fantasize about, but never touch, let alone have... And the yearning is oh so<br />
strong. So strong that I stopped keeping it conscious after some time. I pushed it down so hard it<br />
was practically gone. With it a good portion of me - my power, my energy, my sexuality was<br />
all but gone.<br />
<br />
<b>Why can't I touch?</b><br />
<b>Why can't I revel in god's creation?</b><br />
<b>Am I not god's creation myself?</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>The longing,</b><br />
<b>Too painful to endure,</b><br />
<b>Was shut out,</b><br />
<b>Pushed away from awareness</b><br />
<br />
And I am left with the shadows of a proposition,<br />
Long ago contemplated and forgotten<br />
<br />
And I am left with the distant echoes of a terrible pain,<br />
Long forgotten<br />
<br />
<b>How can I gain clarity on this? I think that it has to do with my view of </b><br />
<b>my body, of sexuality, of pleasure. Be curious, explore more.</b>The Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-88015436466893543972010-10-27T02:22:00.000+02:002010-10-27T02:22:50.766+02:00FarewellRecognition.<br />
<br />
For a split second in eternity,<br />
We had that<br />
<br />
A short lived spark,<br />
A Twinkle in the eye,<br />
<br />
We shared a room,<br />
Only us,<br />
The world expelled from our awareness<br />
<br />
A painful journey through our personalities,<br />
Our souls momentarily danced<br />
<br />
For a split second we were merged<br />
<br />
Thank youThe Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-4235837615726484972010-10-26T20:01:00.000+02:002010-10-26T20:01:25.912+02:00Unnamed #1They are all around me,<br />
Allies, friends, lovers,<br />
Givers of the Heart<br />
<br />
But I,<br />
I don't let them in,<br />
Their loving care finds a wall,<br />
Is deflected,<br />
Only a slight portion is allowed in<br />
<br />
In my halls of steel and ice,<br />
The echoes of isolation are reverberated,<br />
Love is the essence,<br />
The intense fire,<br />
The elemental force,<br />
Required to make magic real<br />
<br />
An opening,<br />
A new trust is needed,<br />
In me, in them, in everything<br />
New eyes to see the same thingThe Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-42450228907719453962010-10-26T19:50:00.000+02:002010-10-26T19:50:39.552+02:00DemonsThey are there,<br />
Lurking in the shadows of my subconsciousness,<br />
Biding their time<br />
<br />
Free flowing thoughts is their cue,<br />
They go in and overtake me,<br />
And I wake to the aftermath<br />
<br />
No sleep! high vigilance!<br />
Never let your guard down for one second,<br />
Lest you risk your own downfallThe Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-66383833722505643892010-10-18T00:14:00.000+02:002010-10-18T00:14:31.344+02:00Why Am I Here?I don't know. To make mistakes. To fall and burn and rise again as something else. To experience. To let go of what stops me. To rediscover. To play. To hold hands with others. To redefine boundaries. To revel in myself. To move towards truth. Towards myself. To make friends. To make a difference. To make good. To Heal. To touch. To feel. To share.<br />
<br />
A being of a Heart and a Brain,<br />
A creature who thinks and feels,<br />
Capable of the Best and the Worst,<br />
Holds Free Choice<br />
<br />
Take small steps, and marvel in them.<br />
Realize the game, and so enjoy yourself.<br />
It is all for your enjoyment and playfulness<br />
<br />
Make your pain part of you, and so gain Peace.The Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-82172105886987004942010-10-17T20:48:00.001+02:002010-10-18T00:09:13.171+02:00The Goddess from AfricaA whirlpool of pink and blood-red,<br />
Lips pushing out with such voluptuousness,<br />
So alive,<br />
I can almost see them pulsating<br />
<br />
A Lioness,<br />
Majestically, swiftly moving in the savannah,<br />
Her paws, her legs, her torso, her neck extending to her head,<br />
All moving in a finely tuned succession,<br />
Orchestrated by the hand of God<br />
<br />
Her face,<br />
Expecting nothing, accepting everything,<br />
<div>A rich terrain of calm attentiveness,</div><div>At the ready to effortlessly devour your </div><div>soul at any moment</div><div><br />
</div><div>Her womanhood,</div><div>Such a potent femininity,</div><div>So enticing, </div><div>Lacing every strand of muscle,</div><div>Every ligament,</div><div>Every bone in her body</div><div><br />
</div><div>I wonder if she knows this,</div><div>If she's even aware, if she realizes in feeling,<br />
A fraction of the reality which through her manifests</div><div><br />
</div><div>I wonder if it is even possible for us</div><div>to contain the realization of our own Godliness</div><div><br />
</div><div><br />
</div>The Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-78712274640167878482010-10-16T13:10:00.001+02:002010-10-16T13:51:32.691+02:00The Ocean of DespairIt is all around us,<br />
The Ocean of Despair,<br />
It calls me to drown in it's waves<br />
<br />
And sometimes I want to drown,<br />
To forget everything,<br />
And just cease.<br />
<br />
No more struggle,<br />
No more pain,<br />
Just silence<br />
<br />
Today I had a swim,<br />
Grabbed the leg of the table,<br />
And dove right in,<br />
This time I kept my eyes open<br />
<br />
I was surprised by the beauty<br />
that was revealed to me,<br />
Gentle currents in all direction,<br />
Cool and warm,<br />
Playfully swirling me around,<br />
Pushing and pulling,<br />
Flowing all around me<br />
<br />
There were tiny creatures all around,<br />
Dancing with me,<br />
A whole universe inside<br />
<br />
So don't believe the hype,<br />
Just dive right in,<br />
And let experience change youThe Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-61222477798072503682010-10-14T23:51:00.003+02:002010-10-14T23:53:48.602+02:00These Morning TimesThe mornings stretch,<br />
Like endless vistas of nothingness,<br />
Extending into infinity<br />
<br />
Empty staleness wrapped in hopelessness,<br />
Grainy and dry,<br />
Like the taste of sand in my mouth<br />
<br />
I sit in a daze,<br />
Hoping for some external salvation,<br />
Aching to break through this plateau I find myself in<br />
<br />
Feeling myself on an icy desert,<br />
Looking blindly, desperately for a crack to apply<br />
myself onto<br />
<br />
Here, time extends too lazily,<br />
No action is possible,<br />
Yet all the effort in the world is required<br />
<br />
Drunk with the reality of stasis,<br />
With the appearance of control<br />
<br />
These morning times,<br />
An illusion so real,<br />
I lose myself in itThe Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-28328948442066025312010-10-13T12:25:00.000+02:002010-10-13T12:25:36.101+02:00The PuppetA puppet on invisible strings,<br />
Pushed around by things long past,<br />
Aching to assume it's stolen powers<br />
<br />
Like the last ripples breaking on the shore of existence,<br />
Created by a rock tossed ages ago into the center of the ocean,<br />
All but forgotten, still very much real<br />
<br />
I long for awareness,<br />
I long for choice,<br />
I long for prime causes,<br />
I long for me<br />
<br />
The puppet wants it's freedom,<br />
To realize the Ocean<br />
<br />
Cut the chains of unawareness,<br />
Break away from the torment of my fiends,<br />
Allow me breath as myselfThe Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-34956594286077903252010-10-11T14:05:00.000+02:002010-10-11T14:05:24.838+02:00ResistanceI'm like a rock,<br />
Rigid all over,<br />
Will not move an inch<br />
<br />
Push me,<br />
Just try,<br />
I will resist a thousand-fold,<br />
Again and again<br />
<br />
In a terrain that is not me,<br />
Alien to my nature,<br />
Practical and so shallow,<br />
My Heart withers away<br />
<br />
Bit by bit, cell by cell<br />
It is suffocating into dryness,<br />
<br />
Craving meaning and connection,<br />
It is left wanting<br />
<br />
Hand reaching out,<br />
Desperately extended into the unreachable<br />
<br />
What is missing?<br />
What is missing?<br />
<br />
I'm in the dark,<br />
Looking for the river of life,<br />
Searching for the sweet spot,<br />
Where resistance transforms into flowThe Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-83626736837871181132010-10-10T21:25:00.000+02:002010-10-10T21:25:23.383+02:00Shame and a voiceIt's inside,<br />
It takes me over,<br />
I have no control<br />
<br />
I burn,<br />
I'm convoluted in pain,<br />
Want to vanish,<br />
Disappear from the face of the earth<br />
<br />
It's rooted deep in my body,<br />
Like cancerous cells,<br />
Alien to my own body,<br />
Antagonistic to my life<br />
<br />
If I listen to it's imperative,<br />
I will disappear,<br />
Go into hiding<br />
<br />
Then a voice,<br />
Remember these,<br />
You are good and bad,<br />
Elements of both are within you,<br />
<br />
If your Heart is pure,<br />
Meddling with guilt is superfluous,<br />
<br />
Focus on life, on movement,<br />
Forget the rest<br />
<br />
Some will always find your choices displeasing,<br />
put those on mute<br />
<br />
Focus on your own voice,<br />
Your own truth,<br />
<br />
And never give upThe Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-2152957611274439792010-10-08T10:48:00.000+02:002010-10-08T10:48:16.356+02:00Me at 17I really didn't like myself as a teenager. What came up for me today as I meditated was a deep seated<br />
disgust. I felt it in the base of my throat and the pit of my stomach, as well as in my hands. It felt like<br />
foul sticky tar lodged in in my inside, suffocating me. The image that came to my mind is me as<br />
teenager. Feel like I'm 17. In my mind's eye I am lanky, awkward, hairy, ugly, disproportionate,<br />
wearing these huge ugly glasses. I walk funny and I am horny with no chance of getting laid.<br />
My genitals are fully developed and I feel like a science experiment of God gone wrong.<br />
I seem so lost and helpless,trying to fit in in a world that would never accept me, let alone<br />
love me. Like those defect babies that come out with too many hearts or something,<br />
Doomed to for a short life of suffering and pain, never experiencing life as a healthy creature.<br />
Not Fit For Life it seems to say on my forehead.The Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-21023184559052151302010-10-08T02:47:00.000+02:002010-10-08T02:47:58.848+02:00InvisibleThe cells of your body translucent,<br />
Your being, a fallen leaf,<br />
Your intention hiding behind it's own shadow<br />
<br />
And You,<br />
You are gone,<br />
Faded into non-presence<br />
<br />
The space you inhabit,<br />
A placeholder for your body,<br />
A side prop in the play of life<br />
<br />
The need to be seen,<br />
To bring in to out,<br />
To manifest in Reality,<br />
To have integrity<br />
<br />
What are we without ourselves?<br />
What are we without our truth?The Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-82876581897880515942010-10-08T02:32:00.001+02:002010-10-08T02:33:09.685+02:00On Sex and DisgustI've been wondering into the nature of the emotion of disgust as it comes up for me in and around<br />
my sex life. As I see sex, it is the sacred act between two lovers, whereby their emotions of love<br />
and feeling of connection and kinship are manifested in physical form. It is the ultimate celebration<br />
of life, and the merging of two souls into one, apart from time and space. This is in stark contrast to<br />
the commonly accepted understanding of sex as a purely physical need that requires satisfaction,<br />
similar to the way animals satisfy their needs. You're horny, you go down to the bar, woe a woman<br />
with your manly charm, and sleep with her. Very practical and down to earth, or so it seems.<br />
<br />
The stories we tell ourselves, and the truth, can be very different things. Deep inside we<br />
know what sex is, and it's significance for us as spiritual beings. It is the gate to your soul,<br />
manifest physically. It is the ultimate surrender of the core of your being, to be merged with<br />
another's.<br />
<br />
We as humans have free will, and we pay a penalty for choosing wrongly. The penalty for<br />
allowing your innermost being, your essence, to open up and be merged with the wrong<br />
kind of soul, is the penalty paid in the emotion of disgust.<br />
<br />
Disgust will be primarily for your self, for allowing such a defilement to take place. But it<br />
will be projected outside, to your partner and he/she would seem to be the source of<br />
your need to throw up.<br />
<br />
In this regard it is worth mentioning the heavy consumption of alcohol and drugs these<br />
days to soften inhibitions, but also to abolish the natural shame that protects us from acts<br />
of this sort.<br />
<br />
Also notice the all too common urban story about two people meeting in a bar, getting drunk,<br />
spending the night together, only to run away as the act is finished, feeling disgusted<br />
and ashamed.The Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-32675964174632720372010-10-02T16:33:00.001+02:002010-10-02T16:35:19.549+02:00Gentleness<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Suspended in gelatinous liquid,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Cared for with gloves made of sensuous Indian silk,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">The relation that the warm morning rays,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">The soft winds,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">And the damp earth has<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">To a Flower slowly opening<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">The way a mother is there always,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Caressing and allowing,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Protecting and surrendering<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Deserving you Are!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">For who deserves it more than God itself?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Your essence is pure and luminous,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Your core smiling and joyful,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">I love you!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>The Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-1231588656833290592010-10-02T16:32:00.001+02:002010-10-02T16:32:22.068+02:00Pain<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Shackles on my Heart,</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">A rope around my chest,</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Acid in my veins</span><br />
<br />
<span class="apple-style-span">A silent cry escapes my lips,</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">And I free fall,</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">down,</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">down,</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">To a place where no one will find me</span><br />
<br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Who will come for my aid?</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">I will ask for no one!</span><br />
<br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Stuck is the energy,</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">In helplessness I wallow,</span><br />
<br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Alone, so alone I feel</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Isolated, locked in a frozen cage</span><br />
<br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Then, my spirit awakens</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">a rebellious smile flowers deep from within,</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Aha! Never will I give up,</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">not for one second</span><br />
<br />
<span class="apple-style-span">I saw a crow yesterday,</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Black as the night!</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">He was One with the wind,</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">One with the turbulence,</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">One with Life</span><br />
<br />
<span class="apple-style-span">So shall I!</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">let pain come, and leave</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">let it set the stage for Joy!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>The Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-28080571842460594232010-10-02T16:31:00.000+02:002010-10-02T16:31:13.379+02:00A New Space<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">There's a new space inside,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">A living space - I can feel it pulsating <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Emotions go there to bounce of its walls,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">So that you can hear their echo for miles and miles<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Sometimes, magic happens<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">In an alchemical reaction,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">The space transforms into warm water droplets,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Pouring down from my eyes,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Connecting out with in<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">The Playground is opened a new,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">For my beautiful inner child to be joyful in,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Careless and innocent<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">That is his Shrine!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Protected and embraced by my masculine energy,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">No one will ever taint him<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">I can see him now,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">His soft face unscathed by reality,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">His creativity like the fountain of youth,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Free-flowing and unending<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">His energy, so fresh and innocent<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">He will live forever, young and new<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">In very special times, as grace will allow<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Through infinity and back, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">My sacred space will merge with another's -<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">What a divine celebration!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Fairies, Demons, Elves, Fiends, Pixies, lepricons,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">God and Lucifer - Come out to play!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Its Heaven manifest on Earth<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>The Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-395516010186292174.post-86665515000154352492010-10-02T01:07:00.000+02:002010-10-02T01:07:16.570+02:00Breaking the Looking Glass<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I was here, but not really<br />
You felt me, but I didn't feel you<br />
Isolated despair filled my days and dreams<br />
<br />
I longed for you!<br />
So close,<br />
I can almost touch,<br />
But you have faded away<br />
<br />
Your reflection,<br />
So perfect through the looking glass<br />
awakened a living wound,<br />
hidden so deep inside<br />
<br />
I so wanted to touch, to feel, to share,<br />
to merge into your eyes in an endless embrace,<br />
One with Everything<br />
<br />
My heart, Oh my heart,<br />
After years and years of dormant pain,<br />
was finally awakened<br />
<br />
A fragile, trembling fire had been kindled inside it<br />
by your love and brutally honest presence<br />
<br />
I breath new air now,<br />
so fresh and full of wonder<br />
I feel it in my bones<br />
<br />
I do not know where the winds might take me,<br />
but every cell in my body screams at me - Live, Live, Live!<br />
<br />
The impenetrable looking glass has been shattered,<br />
The veil of pain and hurt had been lifted,<br />
And I can breathe again<br />
<br />
Through this elemental storm we call life,<br />
With its myriad expressions and endless variety,<br />
I found my guiding light,<br />
My long lost longing,<br />
The craving of my Heart </span></div></div>The Seekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10530001533005072493noreply@blogger.com1